Timeline to Trouble

 

As time passed, Bernard Sr. and Lorraine's seven children grew into adults, some married, some moved away from St. Paul, Minnesota. Most kept in touch and others often visited.

In 2007, 2008, and 2009 thoughts of moving to a smaller one level place began to filter into Bernard Sr. and Lorraine's thoughts. They were older now and the upkeep on a home and yard was getting harder. They put their home on the market with Realtors but it was not a good time for selling.

A son living in Wisconsin wanted Bernard Sr. and Lorraine to come live with them however, Lorraine did not want to live with anyone. That son did convince his father and mother to at least move to an apartment in a small town in Wisconsin. This move was met with concern, disbelief, and even some anger among some of the other sons and daughters. Some of the family members wondered if Bernard Sr. was promised a life of hunting and fishing.

November 17, 2009 - Bernard Sr. and Lorraine moved from St. Paul, Minnesota, into a single level, 2-bedroom apartment in a small town in Wisconsin. Bernard Sr. and Lorraine lived in this apartment for approximately 2 1/2 years. Although the apartment was quiet and a nice size for them, Bernard Sr. was not hunting and fishing as much as he thought he would by living closer to his son in Wisconsin.

2011 & 2012 - With age, Bernard Sr. was getting tired. Daughters were looking for and suggesting ways of relieving the responsibilities of apartment life and everyday living for their parents, which many elderly often face. They suggested having outside organizations come in to clean, wash, and perhaps even do shopping. Meals-on-Wheels was also suggested.

August 2, 2012 – All of a sudden, the Wisconsin brother called siblings and let them know he was moving Dad and Mom to his house on August 11, 2012. This was a shock to many family members who thought their parents were doing fine in their apartment and the daughters were researching and hopeful of finding assistance for them.

August 11, 2012 - Bernard Sr. and Lorraine moved into their son's split-level Wisconsin house, which was now 10 miles from town or any service. The night prior to the move Lorraine was extremely upset. She did not want to move or to live with her son and daughter-in-law. She was very angry. This move was felt to be too sudden and not a good choice especially by the daughters.

June 4, 2013 - Lorraine was moved from her son's home to a senior care home. This was devastating to Lorraine. Living with her husband and married for 63 years and now they were being split up and she would be alone. She did not need to be in this facility. There were alternatives that were ignored. Later it was learned, Bernard Sr. agreed to this move because he wanted his wife safe. His goal at this time was to protect his beloved wife.

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Driving my Dad to see Mom on my first visit to my Mom in her new facility, I fought back tears upon arrival. As we walked in the door and the staff went to get Mom, her eyes flashed with recognition as to who we were. She ran down the hallway into my Dad’s arms as she yelled, “it’s my husband and my daughter, Nina”. Dad and Mom sat close on a love seat and as he put his arm around her shoulders, Mom turned to him and said, “How did we get in this situation and how are we ever going to get out?

From Nina, daughter


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September 28, 2013 – With everything he was going through, Bernard Sr., at 90 years old, was told to leave his son’s home. Bernard Sr. moved back to St. Paul, Minnesota to live with his daughter and son-in-law.

October 3, 2013 - Bernard Sr. and Lorraine went to their Attorney to change the Agents on their Health Care Directive, to change their Attorneys-In-Fact on their Power of Attorney, and so Bernard Sr. could change his will.

October 4, 2013 - Bernard Sr. requested to be taken to Pierce County Adult Protection in Wisconsin. There he filed a report.

October 7, 2013 - Bernard Sr. and Lorraine found a facility closer for Lorraine and they signed an admissions agreement for the new place in Minnesota.

October 10, 2013 – Bernard Sr. and Lorraine gave a 30-day notice to the facility Lorraine lived at in Wisconsin. Lorraine knew about this move, kept it a secret, and was excited about moving.

November 7, 2014 - Bernard Sr. says to daughters, Nina and Jean, "let's get Mom (Lorraine) now, her new place is ready". Lorraine was now out of Wisconsin and back in Minnesota near Bernard Sr. They could now visit and be together every day.

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